Est-ce qu'il y a quelqu'un là?

I think I understand a bit more why people usually drop out at this point in the BEDA game:  they don't just get sick of writing.  They also get sick of reading their own stuff and imagine that people are sick of their posts by now as well.  Are you sick of me?  'Cause I'm a bit sick of me.  Anyway, here goes.

I get to write another 5 to 7 page paper tonight.  But I feel a smidge less like the world is ending.  Which was kinda where I was last evening.  Ohhhhh yeahhhh.  I also have an astronomy midterm tomorrow evening.  That has yet to be studied for.  But if I'm going to be realistic, looking over those notes ain't gonna happen until tomorrow.  I may skip art history in the afternoon to study.  Tomorrow evening at six it'll all be over.

You know what's really awkward?  Eating in a dining hall at a table by yourself.  I wish I didn't feel awkward when I don't have anyone to get dinner with me.  But I still do.  I mean, why should I care?  It's not like everyone is staring at me, even though I'm convinced that a lot are.  Or at least give a glance my way.  And okay, so they give a glance my way.  So what?  Why does that make me so uncomfortable?  Is it because I don't want people to think I'm a loner?  Because I'd like to think that I don't care if people think that when they see me sitting at an empty table with my iPod and a book.  But it does bother me.  I need to get over that--it's dumb.

Fingers crossed that BEDA content will pick up after tomorrow evening.

3 comments

  1. I'm reading and enjoying!
    So keep going, you can do this ^^

    And I also get that loner thing, but then I just realise that I just shouldn't care what other people think or say about it.

    I think it's fairly normal that it bothers you, just because we live in this society where everyone is likely to judge you based on things that are 'out of the ordinary' according to them.

    At least I know that I am never alone, and I'm fairly sure that you aren't as well. Think about that next time and do some gloating over the bothering :D

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  2. I totally agree with the whole thing about BEDA. But I promise I'm not getting sick of you! A lot of people I'm following are doing BEDA.

    I honestly like to eat by myself sometimes. It's kind of peaceful. But I get what you mean, you don't want people to think you're a loner. That is kind of bothersome.

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  3. I always eat by myself at college. I don't really get any weird stares but I still feel weird about it. Especially when my eyes wander and I end up staring at groups of people and they look at me like a socially awkward outcast. Which I'm totally not. I just prefer to spend my eating time actually... I don't know, eating.

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