I know you're all crossing your fingers, biting your nails in hopes that by the end of crush week I'll have arrived at present day and then you'll get some dirt on my personal life. Oh, you scallywag, you!
I grew up in a brownstone in Hoboken. A brownstone that is probably now worth over a million, bet my parents are kicking themselves over that one. Although granted that the schools there were really crappy at the time and might still be for all I know. But I had a stoop. Which makes me think of stoop kid in Hey, Arnold. Which also makes me remember when I used to be younger than the kids on that show and how weirded out I felt when I was older than the characters. I'd probably be filling out forms for social security if someone sat me down to watch Hey, Arnold now. Anyone remember the train episode? God, that one used to scare the shit out of me.
Anyway, hello. Supposed to be talking about booooooooys. With their coooooooties. I also got really upset when I was told I had cooties. It bothered me because no one ever really fully explained to me what it was. And I hated not knowing because I was convinced I was left out of some sort of secret joke. Still feel like the joke is on me sometimes.
So growing up in Hoboken, right. Apparently toddlerhoney didn't just have a thing for adulterous politicians. There was a kid named Joey whose father owned the liquor store my parents frequented. I'm sure if I asked them today both of them would gush about that shop in different ways. Mom with the wine they would always order special with her; Dad taking the more manly route--some story involving brewskis and motorcycles. I think Joey even had a little toy tricycle he would carouse around the block in. I don't even know if I'm imagining this right, but I see the store as being the ground floor of a brick apartment building. And there was a wrought iron fence in front even though it essentially sectioned off some concrete of the sidewalk. And my parents just sort of dumped me there to play with Joey while they went shopping for booze. And then everyone commented on how cute the two of us were.
Boom, done, crushed. Wonder where Joey is these days?