Thoughts on & around The Fault in Our Stars

I just finished.  It was fantastic.  I am so impressed, and I don't want to write trivial words of praise because it deserves so much more than that.

I too have those panicked thoughts that if I'm not doing something groundbreaking or at least working towards something fucking amazing to set me apart from my fellow human beings then I'm wasting my life.  I am so lucky with my life.  And you can be so lucky and so dissatisfied and things just never quite add up.  Because saying, hey at least I don't have cancer or at least someone I love isn't dying right in front of me is not going to make things immediately better.  They just make you feel extra crap for complaining and thinking that way.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this.

I just really liked this book.  And I'm in film school doing my film school things.  And I'm around all these people that are in love with what they are doing.  And I'm not.  I'm not in love with what I'm doing.  I had to edit my first project for university, and I definitely hit that wall.  That wall that Ira Glass talked about.  Where your vision far exceeds the reality you've produced.  I am required to edit with Avid when I've been using Final Cut for years.  So everything is going a billion times slower and jerky and I don't know how to transition from one piece of audio to another.  And I just feel so un--

But tomorrow morning, or really in a couple of hours, I'm going to Sundance.  Which just goes to show how incredible my life really is.  That I can dip out of school for a couple days and hide in those magical mountains and sit in dark rooms with flickering screen for six hours a day.

This was supposed to be a post about The Fault in Our Stars, but I guess like Augustus I'm just not very good at stringing stars into constellations.

3 comments

  1. I've never read a John Green book before, but there's been a lot of good press on The Fault In Our Stars in the YouTube, blogging and Goodreads communities that I'll be looking to get it very soon.

    As for Uni, I've seen your videos and you definitely have a talent. Keep plugging away with those unfamiliar computer programs and Good Luck.

    P.S. - Enjoy Sundance - You lucky young lady you. :)

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  2. You'll get there. Sometimes everything just seems impossible and you feel like nothing will ever work out remotely to how you thought it would. But I have to believe that if you never give up [corny] and just keep pushing through all the bad thoughts and whatnot something will happen. But nothing will happen on its own, you have to do it yourself.

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  3. that last line----omfg who ARE you? just be a writer and be done with it. okay sorry not funny, but honestly you have great shorts on youtube---they inspire me. and i'm a lazy lazy person. also ! you are creative and sometimes exploring your creativity in other areas can help you with your "wall" in film. i don't know? you're pretty great anyway.
    -madhu

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