Today is just one of those days in which I am simply all over the board. My accomplishments since arriving home from uni today have consisted of heating up some tomato soup from a carton and devouring that with crackers. Then cooking some pasta in the same pot, grating some Gruyere over it and devouring. And I've now progressed to a mug of hot chocolate.
Things are starting to settle in with uni which is another way of saying that my reading is beginning to pile up. I'm sure if I wrote out all I have to do it wouldn't look so bad. It's more the unknown that is suffocating. I can't decide if I'm grumpy or tired or scared or wanting attention or wanting to be left the eff alone.
I woke up this morning feeling a little homesick. I hate admitting that I could actually miss the US. But I did this morning. Maybe it wasn't so much the US as it was the ease that comes with living in your mother's house. Not having to think about the hot water running out or how much to budget for groceries. Or not wanting to do laundry because you don't have a drier. Because driers aren't a standard thing in the UK apparently. It was just little annoyances like that.
And then this morning, once I was outside and off my bus and my headphones were in and I was doing the extended walk I often elect to take to get to school, I felt so much better. I occasionally experience these strange, floating moments where I realize I'm living in the UK and that I've made this my home, and I'm incredibly proud of myself and incredibly thrilled to be where I am. And I just sort of start smiling at everything. That's the up-and-down / all-over-the-board bit I've been mentioning.
I'm now sitting in the dark in my room. Cool. My overhead bulb went out a couple days ago--hopefully I can get a replacement for that tonight when I go stock up on food tonight with Sanne. *nurses Twix bar*